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Wednesday, April 6, 2011

When you were mine

Your smile used to conceal
the pain you held inside.
I never saw the anguish
because I wasn't looking.
I wasn't looking to see
beyond that beautiful face.
Maybe because I didn't want to
or because what I saw was just enough.

One day turned to two,
then two days became three
and then it was all routine.
Seeing you was routine,
part of my life,
part of us.

I was your fix,
as you were mine.
Then the daily dose,
the simple drag
slowly turned into an addiction.

We exposed ourselves beyond limits.
We drunk and laughed about it, because tomorrow would come
and wipe the slate clean,
give us both a new start
As you would go back to your life
And I mine

We never judged each other,
God knows there was a lot to judge.
You were you
and I was me. Because it was supposed to be simple, brief.

I have questions in my head
I cannot answer now,
like how did things change?
How, after all the sides of each other we saw,
did we end up here?

I can see your pain now,
Even when you conceal it,
It stares me blankly in the face
Waiting for me to acknowlege it.
I can talk to you
when we're hours apart
and tell when something is wrong.

Were we fooling ourselves?
Thinking we could be
wild, carefree, simple and brief,
and still walk away untouched?

Did nature make a mistake,
drawing our fates,
so dangerously close to one another?
Was it nature's cruel attempt
to put us together as a failed idea of a joke?

Our flaws were our safety nets.
They were the reasons
we could never be together
The reasons why
we could never see more
than we were supposed to.

These flaws,
they taint us now.
They taint us
because we've seen the worst of each other
and we know what we're capable of.
They frighten us
because only they can hurt us,
keep us apart.

Some dark angel must be smiling now somewhere,
because this fling has turned lethal
It has become a poison
and its quickly consuming us.
Because a fix
is no longer enough anymore.

The addiction
has grown so much out of control.
I fear the outcome,
because we're here now.

I'm here,
you're there,
and am waiting for you.
If you never show up,
I will understand
And I will hope that
at least I was able to take away your pain
even if its just a little of it.
Mostly, I hope that
I made you half as happy
as you made me
when you were mine, and I yours

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