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Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Dripping Rainbow

Sometimes my joy fades
and in its place gaping holes rejoice
Yesterday, I woke up to that darkness
That doubt and uncertainty

At times you rip the faith right out of me
and in my attempt to reassure you
I find myself desperately yearning for it myself
I see the reflection
of your past's love on your face
And fear creeps in
stealing my happiness from right under my nose

I have longed to be with you
for such a long time
I have waited, patiently
I have hurt, silently
And now,
Its over,
The waiting and the hurting

I should be happy
Cos we're finally together
But why doesn't it feel like our happy ending?
Have you hurt me so much
that my heart has built a barrier around itself?

I want to trust you
I want to believe that
this is not the beginning of the end
That maybe we could be happy
That we can look past our aches
And move on

But the reluctance of my heart
The little of itself its only willing to give
For a matter of 'just in case'
Just in case you're truly genuine
Just in case we can be happy this time
Just in case you can finally flush her out of your system
'Just in case'

I don't know what it means
If its a sign that we're making a mistake again
But I wish you knew how I feel
How truly scared I am
This is the only way I know
how to show it to you

I won't give up on you, not yet
But Please don't give up on me either
I need time to stop this suffocating pain
You have unknowingly inflicted on me

Give me time to learn to trust you
Because right now,
I'll be lying if I told you I'm on cloud number nine
That's not how fairy tales are supposed to end
That's not how ours is going to end

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