When Words Fail

Th

This numbing silence in my head
makes me want to scream out loud
I've been robbed of my thoughts
and am filled with random emotions
devoid of a source or an outlet

I look at you and see the reflection of myself
and I can't help but pity you
for settling down for such a broken idea
Why couldn't you play pretend a while longer?
For a minute back there, weren't we happy?
Or did my fantasy once again clash with my reality?

Its like a whiplash across my face,
this reality I hate
A tormented dark side that constantly yanks me back
to that place I so much resent
a place too hostile to live in
yet it owns a home in me

I have to look away
because it is too grotesque to look at
yet I love it as deeply much as I hate myself
I can't run away
I couldn't even if I tried

Thats why when I choose to mute my thoughts
I am at times unable to unmute them
Like now, and in return
my emotions run amok
wrecking havoc in what represented perfection for me

Ghosts lurk in the deepest corners of my soul
waiting for me to turn off the light
so that they can come and remind me of what I really am
So I hold on to the lingering flare
that a slight breeze threatens to put out

Such is what the idea has turned into
A coward who cowers in the glint of dying embers
Afraid of thought, of speech
Afraid of you, of myself
Afraid my reign has come to an end
Yet... you hold on