Beloved Blade

Nightmares
tear through layers
of my dreams
while I sleep
like ghosts
haunting
a bereaved soul

Slitting my wrists
I lie in the dark pool
of my own blood
bathing in the fire red liquid
releasing my inner cries
'Cos my face refuses to break
and my tears refuses to fall

Waking up in a cold sweat
in the middle of the night
I exhale
I'm I safe?
I'm I dead?
I wipe pespiration off my brow

Did I lock the door?
Did he hear me?
Footsteps on the hallway
My heart pounds
God, please
don't let him come in tonight
Footsteps fade away

I lie awake
Desperate in need
If my nightmares don't kill me,
he will

Thirteen, fourteen
I'm still awake
The blade calls my name
Oh, how much it adores my flesh

A little blood
a little pain gone
Maybe one day
I'll stop bleeding
Then, I'll be free

If not,
maybe the blade
will pity me
and slice through an artery

Leave me drowning
in the ecstasy
of my own release