Love Letters

I read your letters today.
They said so much,
yet at the same time... so little.
It was all I hoped you'd say one day.
But, its just not enough
Because all these you said
a little too late.

I want to take a pen and a piece of paper,
Fully and fearlessly open up to you as you have to me,
I want to take the words out of my heart,
and put them all in that blank piece of paper.

But I cannot do that,
because am no longer that person,
The naive young lover who believed all that came out of your mouth.

I should have burned these letters the very day I got them,
But now am swimming in a pool of your regrets,
Wishing you would have said this sooner,
Wishing it didn't have to affect me so much.

Why is it, that you didn't see me until I was gone?
What makes you think anything will change?
How dare you admit it now when I have no use for these words?

You lost me, do you think these letters will make a shred of a difference?
Are they supposed to?
Should I let them?

You're the reason I hid my heart and built a bridge away from it.
You're the reason I promised myself I would never cry for anyone else.
You're the reason I'm the person I am today.

I should hate you,
I should not give your words power.
I should, but I can't summon the strength to tear these letters.

So what now?
How does it end?
I get to make that choice today.
Maybe years from now,
when am as deeply filled with regret,
you'll be reading similar letters written by me.

For now, dear love,
I refuse to let love own me as it did before.